I Hate Your Fashion

How To Come Out of the Swamp and Live Amongst Humans Without Saying a Word

2011-06-10T22:01:00.000-05:00

78-Year-Old Farmer Disguises Self as Hipster During Recent Night Out

2010-11-18T10:57:00.007-06:00

Was later heard saying, "I can kill my own damn chicken. I'm strictly here for the porn."

From darkroomdemons.com

What to Wear If You Never Want to Have Sex

2010-11-16T10:01:00.001-06:00

Toe shoes are the new crocs, and yes, everyone is staring at you and laughing when you wear them.
You weirdo.

World's Longest Tampon String? Tail?

2010-11-13T19:01:00.003-06:00

Not really sure what is going on here, but it frightens me.

photo by Robert Ayers II

Dear Maxim Magazine,

2010-11-08T11:41:00.001-06:00

I thought your cover girls were supposed to be relevant and spank-worthy?
And for you to call her "rock's sexiest bad girl" is just insulting to rocks everywhere.

See Avril try to be "edgy" and "hot topic-y" in this behind the scenes video of her shoot here:

Worst Halloween Costume Idea in the Entire Universe.

2010-11-06T15:41:00.001-05:00

If you're going to dress up like Santa for Halloween, I will not only vote you the biggest buzzkill and least creative person in the world, but I will also equate you to such moron ideas such as Clear Pepsi, or the one-episode television show, Cop Rock.

Paris Hilton Styled by 2 year-old

2010-11-01T12:01:00.002-05:00

or 2 year-old fashion?

Next Generation Geordi La Forge Sunglasses

2010-09-18T13:51:00.000-05:00

My nerdiest post ever.

Team Middle-Aged Lonely Menopausal Housewife

2010-07-27T23:01:00.009-05:00

I'm guessing all the XXL's are probably already sold out :(

Yes. Someone makes these just for you here.

WTF.

2010-07-10T14:01:00.008-05:00

Now I remember why I started this blog in the first place.

Ever Seen a Pair of Overalls Made Out of Hair?

2010-03-26T09:41:00.000-05:00

Now you have.

ryan mitchell photography

Maxi Pad Shirts

2010-03-25T22:21:00.006-05:00

Every time I see someone with a shirt with wings on it I'm reminded of one of those tampon commercials.

robert ayers II

Can You Get Gonorrhea from Washing Your Hands?

2010-03-24T12:21:00.002-05:00

What to Wear if You Want to Look Like You're Mentally Unable to Button Your Own Shirt

2010-02-08T15:01:00.001-06:00

At least that's what I think L.a.m.b. is trying to tell us.

The Illinois Shore

2009-12-27T15:31:00.000-06:00

I believe this flex pose is called "The Stroke".

Robert ayers II

Four Local Discotech Clubbers Establish They Can Count to Three

2009-12-06T12:51:00.003-06:00

The white Amelia Earhart scarf, sunglasses and Ed Hardy trucker hat scream that they don't want to get laid ever again.

Robert ayers II

Saddest Deejay in the World Still Remains Sad and Confused :(

2009-11-30T15:41:00.000-06:00

I hope he can make it through the holidays.

Robert Ayers II

Perms: The Ed Hardy of Hair Styles

2009-11-28T15:01:00.000-06:00

wannaparty.com

This Has Been a Long Time Coming

2009-09-12T12:01:00.006-05:00

Check back in a few months...because I'm taking an indefinite vacation from this blog.

xo
FAH

Do You Smell Something Fishy?

2009-09-12T11:01:00.003-05:00

Call me old fashion, but I like to eat my raw fish off of a sterile and clean plate.
(even if the girl is hot.)
BTW, is the C-section scar supposed to be an appetizer?

Holy Hell, Woman.

2009-09-09T16:31:00.000-05:00

I have a hard time believing anyone is attracted to the deep color of Jaundice.

robert ayers II

Is Shitting Crapping Your Pants Fashionable?

2009-09-08T18:01:00.002-05:00

I don't care how comfortable these are, they really do look like you've crapped your pants and have midget legs.

What To Wear if You Want to Scare Small Children and Farm Animals

2009-09-08T13:31:00.000-05:00

emailed submission

Happy Labor Day Weekend!

2009-09-05T18:31:00.001-05:00

Sorry for leaving you without warning, but I really needed to take a break.
I'll be back here Tuesday, so go out enjoy the (last weekend to wear white) social and economic achievements of American workers.

Bonus photos of people who enjoy looking like a hot American mess on their wedding day.

When Bronzer Attacks

2009-08-27T19:01:00.000-05:00

Her head looks like its campaigning to be on a copper penny.

darkroomdemons.com

Another Local Go-Go Dancer Shatters World Record For Most Bras Worn at One Time

2009-08-27T13:01:00.001-05:00

I believe the one on the left might be wearing at least 73 of them.

robert ayers II

Granny Panties Make Huge Gigantic Splash at Recent Bougghy Fashion Show

2009-08-26T11:31:00.003-05:00

Though I can't be sure, I think these panties might double as a parachute.

chicago-scene.com

American Apparel Allegedly Wants You to Look Like a 1990s, Middle-Aged, Suburban Housewife

2009-08-25T14:31:00.002-05:00

I don't think they are offering this deal, but the scrunchie should come free with a mini-van and and a brood of children who need to be taken to soccer practice.

American Apparel

Reality Show Murderer

2009-08-25T10:01:00.001-05:00

As sad as it may be, are any of us who watch these shows really surprised that a contestant ended up killing someone and then killing himself? I just always thought it would happen while a show was taping.

Homeless People of New York Looking Pretty Fancy These Days

2009-08-24T13:01:00.002-05:00

You'll never see Wicker Park street kids with fur jackets or bows in their hair.

thecobrasnake.com

Nothing But Class

2009-08-23T17:31:00.000-05:00

The sweat guards are a nice touch.

The Kissy Face: A Classic Female Super Douche Pose

2009-08-22T16:21:00.006-05:00

It looks like her boobs farted and she's trying to get a good whiff.

robert ayers II

You Know You Have a Problem When...

2009-08-21T17:21:00.001-05:00

David Carradine looks better in a fishnet bodysuit than you do.
(Too soon?)

emailed submission

It's Friday! Do You Know Where Your Teenage Daughter's Shirt Is?

2009-08-21T10:01:00.000-05:00

zgclub.com

Worst Go-Go Dancer Theme of The Week: Swan Lake

2009-08-20T14:31:00.000-05:00

Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky must be spinning in his grave.

imagechicago.com

I Apologize if You're About to Eat Dinner

2009-08-19T20:01:00.001-05:00

I thought Chaz Bono was trying to be a dude now, so why the hell is he wearing pantyhose as pants?

emailed submission

Dude Looks Like a Grandma

2009-08-19T18:21:00.003-05:00

I wasn't aware that Steven Tyler had a sex change into a little old lady. He looks like a 87-year-old Julia Roberts.

chuck slavin

Ugly Betty Enjoys Night Out Clubbing

2009-08-19T17:21:00.001-05:00

imagechicago.com

Apparently, Someone Thinks the "Mentally Special" Look is Going to be Hot for Fall

2009-08-18T16:01:00.002-05:00

While the entire show wasn't a total disaster, Akira did have a few misses with their recent fashion show in a Chicago nightclub.
With dead lips to boot.

chicago-scene.com

Pimp My Bra

2009-08-18T12:01:00.000-05:00

chicagoscene.com

The 46-year-old High School G.E.D. Student

2009-08-17T09:01:00.004-05:00

I think her half-shirt says "Fancy Stripper"

zerogravity

Tattoos Most Likely To Be Regretted When They Grow Up

2009-08-17T08:01:00.001-05:00

Or maybe not if she is an amputee.

thecobrasnake.com

DeeJay Captain Hair Gel and the One Look Side Face Poser of the Week

2009-08-16T13:01:00.002-05:00

Is Stone Lotus just an extension of Zero Gravity?

vofotos.com

Bubble Trouble: Part II

2009-08-14T16:21:00.001-05:00

thecobrasnake

It's Friday! Do You Know Where Your Favorite Matching Munchkins Are?

2009-08-14T12:31:00.005-05:00

Oy vey.
I can't believe the shmeckle on the left is still wearing that little girl's puffy vest.

undergound

How To Dress If You Never Want to Have Sex

2009-08-13T20:01:00.001-05:00

(click on the photo for a larger, more boner-deflating view)

nefariousgirl.com

NYC Prep

2009-08-13T10:01:00.000-05:00

is the worst show I've ever seen.
Terrible. I can't believe these people even exist.

Worst Go-Go Dancer of The Week

2009-08-12T17:31:00.000-05:00

I think she ate all the other go-go dancers :(

vofotos.com

Best Non-Ironic T-Shirt

2009-08-11T16:31:00.001-05:00

He is the only person in the world who could get away with wearing that shirt, and I love him for it.

everyoneisfamous.com

Do These Shorts Make Me Look Fat?

2009-08-11T16:01:00.002-05:00

Why yes. Yes they do.

nefariousgirl.com

The Most Gross Misinterpretation of Fashion Seen This Weekend at Lollapalooza

2009-08-11T12:31:00.002-05:00

Alt-hippies wearing tye-dye.

darkroomdemons.com

I'll Be Back on Monday

2009-08-06T12:01:00.001-05:00

Sorry its been so slow around here--I'll be back in full force on Monday.
Go out and enjoy this crazy weekend and give me something to post about.

xo

There's Nothing Like the Fresh Smell of Burning Leather

2009-08-04T17:31:00.001-05:00

Hey Guys. I'm worried about Pumpkin and Dead Behind the Eyes.
Something tells me they didn't see the report comparing tanning booths to arsenic.
:(

robertayersII

Master Super Douches

2009-08-04T14:01:00.013-05:00

Much like a terrible car accident, its really hard not to stare and feel bad for them.

goykphoto.com
wannaparty.com

Tattoos Most Likely To Be Regretted When They Grow Up

2009-08-02T17:41:00.001-05:00

Okay, I'll admit it. It's pretty damn funny.
(click on the image for a larger than Patrick Swayze view)

Patrick Swayze - Chippendale
by tressage

debonairsocialclub.com

You May Have "Been Born on the Street"...

2009-07-30T09:21:00.000-05:00

..but you're "Headed to the Gutter"

chicago-scene.com

The Three Kings of the Kingdom of Douche

2009-07-28T23:01:00.001-05:00

goykphoto.com

More People I Wouldn't Want Sitting on My Furniture

2009-07-28T19:41:00.000-05:00

everyoneisfamous.com

How to Dress if You Never Want to Have Sex: The Creeper Edition

2009-07-27T14:21:00.000-05:00

everyoneisfamous.com

Saddest DeeJay in the World Unimpressed by Possible Threesome

2009-07-27T11:31:00.001-05:00

What is it going to take to cheer this man up?

robert ayers II

It's Friday! Do You Know Where Your Favorite Super Hipstery Hipster Is?

2009-07-24T11:01:00.002-05:00

Playing football?

Playing Basketball?

Chess club?

Softball?

Or, Drama club?

nefariousgirl.com
everyoneisfamous.com
darkroomdemons.com

Tattoos Most Likely To Be Regretted When They Grow Up

2009-07-23T18:31:00.001-05:00

Some things are better left unsaid.

thecobrasnake.com

He's a Hankerin' for a Hunk of Cheese

2009-07-23T17:31:00.004-05:00

Ever since I saw this photo earlier, the damn cheeseman song has been in my head all day.

darkroomdemons.com

It's a Classy Outfit...

2009-07-22T16:01:00.000-05:00

..for a stripper.

robertayersII

My Favorite Bad Fashion Duo (Always Miss You Around Here)

2009-07-22T14:31:00.000-05:00

everyoneisfamous.com

Rerun and The Kentucky Fried Hipster

2009-07-22T14:01:00.001-05:00

darkroomdemons.com

Intoducing...Bronzilla and The Super Menudo Brothers

2009-07-18T16:31:00.001-05:00

How low can a v-neck go before it starts resembling a male ice skater's costume?

vofotos.com

It's Friday! Do You Know Which Favorite Douchebag is Going to Exploit His 8 Children to Sell Ed Hardy?

2009-07-17T11:51:00.000-05:00

INFdaily.com

How To Dress If You Never Want to Have Sex: The Condiment Edition

2009-07-17T11:01:00.002-05:00

everyoneisfamous

Bad Hair Day

2009-07-16T13:21:00.001-05:00

Seen Any Good Deals On Radioactive Space Boots Lately?

2009-07-15T16:01:00.002-05:00

imagechicago

Another Look From the "Paris Hilton for WalMart Collection"

2009-07-13T11:51:00.002-05:00

robertayersII

After an Exhausting Day of Power Shopping at Forever 61, Girlfriends Enjoy Quiet Night Out Clubbing

2009-07-13T10:41:00.004-05:00

carolinedixey.com

Its Friday! Do You Know Where Your Favorite Douchebag Is?

2009-07-10T14:21:00.003-05:00

Bubble Trouble

2009-07-08T17:31:00.000-05:00

You Know You Have a Problem When...

2009-07-08T09:31:00.002-05:00

You're wearing so many hipster accessories that we can't tell if you're a man or a woman.

nefariousgirl.com

Worst Go-Go Dancer Theme Of The Week

2009-07-07T08:01:00.001-05:00

I guessing the theme was "exploding chicken".

wannaparty

Happy 4th of July!

2009-07-04T15:01:00.002-05:00

Its Friday! Do You Know Where Your Pants Are?

2009-07-03T11:01:00.000-05:00

thecobrasnake

Gold Lamé Face is Sooo Last Year.

2009-07-02T16:01:00.001-05:00

debonairsocialclub

Don't You Hate When You Go Out to Play and You Find One of Your Basketballs Deflated? :(

2009-07-01T10:01:00.002-05:00

robert ayers II

The Most Annoying Women on the Planet: Bachelorettes

2009-06-30T16:31:00.005-05:00

Loud. Obnoxious. Annoying.
Whenever I see these groups of women out all I can think is that whoever is throwing the party must really hate the bride.

I've never quite understood the concept of wanting to go out and embarrass your best friend in public by making her suck a fake penis and wear a funny hat.

One Look Side Face Pucker Sisters at It Again

2009-06-26T12:21:00.001-05:00

It's uncanny!
Do you think they get together and practice in a mirror together?

vofotos.com
robert ayers II

Michael Jackson Steals Farrah Fawcett's Thunder

2009-06-25T17:01:00.002-05:00

RIP to them both.

Female Clubber Feeling Recession Crunch

2009-06-24T09:01:00.001-05:00

You know times are tough when you're squeezing yourself into the same outfit you were wearing last summer.

The Real Housewives of Dupage County

2009-06-23T22:51:00.000-05:00

chicago-scene.com

I've Always Wondered..

2009-06-22T15:31:00.000-05:00

how women with ridiculously long fingernails wipe their butt.

One Look Side Face of The Week: Attack of The Puckered Lips

2009-06-22T15:01:00.001-05:00

Warning: standing next to this woman will cause you to make terrible kissy faces.
All joking aside, she looks pretty okay for a 63-year-old.

Grandma's Bathroom Rug Recycled as Go-Go Dancer's Footwear

2009-06-22T12:41:00.002-05:00

Also known as a CGUS: Cute Girl Ugly Shoes.

wannafarty

The Saddest DeeJay in The World Changes Things Up by Wearing Jaunty Baseball Cap

2009-06-19T13:21:00.000-05:00

At least it looks as though as he is showering now, which is a big step up from when we first saw him.

robert ayers II

It's Friday! Do You Know Where Your Teenage Daughter's Shirt Is?

2009-06-19T09:51:00.004-05:00

Zero Gravity is not only a breeding ground for future douchebags, but also provides a safe non-alcoholic atmosphere for rampant outbreaks of teen pregnancy.

zerogravityclub.com

The Male Version of the Female One Look Side Face Poser: The Pointer

2009-06-17T12:01:00.003-05:00

Not to be outdone by the female one look side face posers, males across the club scene have come up with their own way of letting us know which of them is spending way too much time in front of a mirror.

DeeJay's are doing it:

Bouncers are doing it:

And douchebag's are doing it:

Bonus portrait of an uncle pointing at artist:

Warning: Wearing Funny Looking Glasses Will Automatically Cause You to Look Like You 're Taking the World's Largest Dump

2009-06-16T15:41:00.003-05:00

On a slightly related note, I wonder where the girl in the last photo lost that missing green fingernail.

chicago-scene.com

Do These Stripes Go With These Stripes?

2009-06-15T16:41:00.000-05:00

chicago-scene.com

I'll be back Monday!

2009-06-13T18:01:00.002-05:00

Get outside and enjoy nature. I'll be back here after the weekend.

I Think It's Obvious Who Would Win The Battle in a Back-Alley Skin Cancer Showdown

2009-06-11T17:31:00.002-05:00

robert ayers II

Even I Think This Is Sad

2009-06-10T17:51:00.000-05:00

everyoneisfamous

Final Nail in The Coffin

2009-06-10T17:21:00.002-05:00

sent in by a reader

Non-Fashion Related, But Too Good Not To Repost

2009-06-09T19:51:00.002-05:00

I hope Bret Micheal's wig wasn't injured.
Why was Poison playing at the Tony Awards anyway?

How To Dress If You Never Want to Have Sex

2009-06-09T17:21:00.004-05:00

(click on the photo for a larger than life, boner-deflating view)

thecobrasnake.com