Monday, June 2, 2008

My Personal Letter To Lisa From Top Chef:

After catching up with Top Chef on my Tivo this weekend, I would like to have a little chat.

What the hell is wrong with you?

It pains me to watch this season's Top Chef because I can not stand looking and listening to you.



Nothing sends me into a flying rage quicker than watching you sulk around like a bratty little boy who just got in trouble for breaking a vase by playing basketball in the house.

Everytime I see you at the judge's table making those snarly faces, I see you as this Little People toy that used to be in an old box at my grandma's house. (I hated this toy and let my grandma's dog eat it.)


Jesus Christ. Why are you so miserable? Could it pain you to comb your hair once in a while, or perhaps--I know this may be asking a lot--take a shower? God forbid you try to look presentable on national television.
And while you're at it, take that stupid looking earring out of your eyebrow...unless, of course, you dream of being head chef at Burger King.



Thank you for ruining this season of Top Chef.
You suck.

Truly,
-me



*Gif made by Max at maxsilvestri.com

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